Do You Get It Now? A Retelling of Mark 8:14-21 MKBV (Marilyn K Blair Version)

  About a year ago, a friend of mine asked if there was any humor in the Bible. I said, "Of course!" and I sent her several passages I found funny. I also wrote up a fictitious account of what could have happened on the boat Jesus and his disciples were on after the feeding of the 4000.

I pulled the retelling out recently, worked on it a bit more, and decided to share it with you for this month's blog. I mean no disrespect to the disciples, especially since I see myself in them. Maybe you'll see yourself too! Enjoy.

After a week filled with healing, teaching, and the miracle of feeding four thousand people with a few loaves of bread and a couple of fish, Jesus and his disciples boarded a boat to Bethsaida.

The disciples gathered on deck, patting each other on the back, laughing, and congratulating each other on a job well done.

Jesus stood at the bow. Leaning back on the side of the boat, He watched His men, then heaved a heavy sigh. Moving to the disciples, He waited until His presence garnered their attention. Peter was the first to notice.

“Shut up! Sit down! Teacher has something to say.” He scowled at the other men. They took a seat on rough planks that ran from port to starboard. Peter tipped his chin and said, “I got you, Jesus.”

Jesus smiled at His friend. One by one, Jesus met each man’s gaze with His own. He leaned in. “Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and of Herod.” He turned and went back to the bow.

“Leaven of the Pharisees? What’s that supposed to mean?” Thomas asked.

“Leaven? Like for bread? Did someone forget to pack the bread?” another voice asked.

“Who’s got the bread?” Andrew said.

Murmurs of “Not me,” and “I didn’t bring it, did you bring it?” trickled through the group. The disciples drew closer together. Sweat broke out on some foreheads. Hands and feet twitched.

Matthew whispered to Simon the Zealot. “Looks like someone forgot to pack the bread and Jesus knows it. There’s only one loaf among us, and it belongs to Judas. And you know he’s generally not inclined to share. We’re in for it now.”

“What do you mean we?” Simon whispered back. “Wasn’t my job to bring the bread. I’m security.”

“Well, whose job was it then? Thomas?”

Simon looked at Matthew side eyed. “Doubtful.”

“I bet it was Peter,” Matthew said. “He’s got a wife. She probably made a stack of loaves, and he left them on his way out the door. You know he’s always in a rush to get next to Jesus.”

Simon nodded in agreement.

Peter shot a glance their way. “I heard that. You leave my wife outta this. And no, it wasn’t me.” He caught sight of James and John. “Hah, the ‘sons of thunder’. Their mom is always hanging around, pushing those two to the front. I bet she was supposed to make us some bread.”

James shoved Peter, not moving the man an iota. “Our mom’s the best! She’s a saint, and yeah, she would have made bread for everyone if we had asked her, but we didn’t.”

Peter pushed James, sending him flying. “Whose fault is it then that we only have one loaf?”

Jesus shook His head. He moved to them once again. “Why are you chuckleheads talking about not having enough bread?”

Startled, all heads turned toward Him, mouths agape, and cheeks burning. The men returned to the benches.

“Let’s review, shall we?” Jesus lifted his face toward heaven and took another deep breath. “How many loaves of bread did we start with when I fed the five thousand?”

Peter whispered, “Pssst, Andrew. What was it?”

“Five . . . I think,” he whispered back.

“I believe it was five, Jesus,” Peter answered, sitting up straight.

Jesus gave Peter a wry smile. “That’s right. Good for you. And how many baskets full of bread were left over after feeding everyone?”

The disciples huddled, arms around their shoulders. Peter’s head raised. “Twelve. It was twelve for sure, just like us.”

“Right again. We’re making progress. And how many loaves did we have to feed four thousand?”

John jumped up. “I know! I know! Seven!”

“That’s great, John. Sit down,” Jesus said.

John lowered himself next to Peter who glowered at him.

“And how many baskets of leftovers were there?” Jesus asked.

“Is that before or after Peter had his fill?” Judas said. A howl of laughter burst from the group.

Peter smacked Judas in the back of the head. “Traitor.” He glared at the other disciples. “Shut up, morons.”

Philip leaned into Matthew and whispered, “I didn’t know we were going to have to do math.”

“Seven, Jesus. There were seven, the number of completeness,” Thaddaeus said.

James kicked the board Thaddaeus sat on. “Teacher’s pet.”

Jesus closed His eyes, His chin resting on His chest. He returned His gaze back to His men. “So, five loaves fed five thousand, with twelve baskets left over. Seven fed four thousand, with seven left over. So . . .” He inclined His head toward the group. “Do you get it now?”

Silence.

In the same way Jesus performed the miracle of feeding four thousand, Jesus continues to perform miracles in our lives today–the just missed car accident, the unexplained healing, a financial need met. A thousand other “God moments” happen all around us, yet all we can think about is who forgot the bread.

  God is mighty. He loves us. He wants what’s best for us in every situation. “Getting it” means recognizing His miraculous work in our lives and in the lives of others. “Getting it” means looking past the “tyranny of the urgent” and looking toward the eternal. “Getting it” means trusting God with our meager offerings–our possessions, our time, our talents, our faith, ourselves, believing that He will “cause all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

            Do you get it now?